I’d like to share VAULT’s creation and inspiration that has taken over 25 years.
By the time I was 20 years old, both my parents died. I lost my mother to suicide. At times, It wasn’t an easy upbringing. I knew little about my mother and even less about her parents and grandparents. Today, I am 46 years old. I have so many questions I want to ask my parents, but do not have that opportunity or access. Oftentimes, this has left me sad and devoid. In addition, I suffered some traumatic losses in my life, suddenly losing my two best friends, one to homicide.
Rounding out life, I married an incredible woman who has a strained relationship with her sisters. Their personal issues inadvertently bled onto her sisters children, unfortunately resulting in my wife having never met her nieces and nephews. Yet, she still speaks with her sisters periodically. I started thinking about my own sibling, our strained relationship and the nieces I have never met. They are at an age where they are asking their daddy (my brother) questions about me.
I began thinking to myself, what a tragedy all the way around. Death can cause a person to lose part of their identity when a loved one is strongly attached to their own identity. Even for those living, family is often complicated. We can’t bring the departed back, and we can’t make others have dialogue with us, but can we find a way to meet them another way? Essentially, where our past meets our present.
Grief is not a linear process. There is no timeline on grief. Grief often pushes us into silence where we minimize or silence ourselves speaking about our passed loved ones or others just delete them in conversation altogether to not remind us they have passed away. Well, we don’t need a reminder. We have every day for that. What I’ve found, those that have lost a loved one, really want to talk about their loved one. Actually, they want permission to speak about their loved one because we want to keep them present and relevant in a world that continues to turn with or without them. We really don’t want the keepsakes and memories we’ve put into a box hidden in the back of our closet or shed. Therefore, how can we bring the box from the back of the closet, out of the closet?
There has to be a way to comfortably introduce our pain of loss to those living. There has to be a way of taking the stigma out of grief. There has to be a way of meeting halfway to resolve conflict between two individuals where children are dragged into an argument they would prefer not. There has to be a way to preserve our own history in the event we suddenly pass on and children aren’t like me, wondering at 45 years what’s her mother’s favorite color, what kind of student was she in school or what dreams did she want to pursue?
I hope you find tremendous value in it as I have in its creation. More so, I want you to feel like you’re giving life back to your loved one who has passed. Or, if you are creating VAULT for your own legacy, I want you to feel as though you won’t ever be forgotten by those you LOVE.
The vault celebrates your loved ones with its unique presentation. It is a timeless capsule to keep memories alive and safe to be enjoyed for generations upon generations